We sense things are not OK, but we usually don’t do anything about it because we have allowed ourselves to tolerate such people and behaviors in the past and just accept that this is how it must be. This is an untruth we have purchased with our nonbelief in the value of who we are and what we have to offer.

The Power of Knowing

Recently as a freelance manager/consultant for a company, I had the opportunity to really test the strength of my “knowing” of what is right for me or what is not a fit for me.

Like many of us, we take on a project, a job, or a relationship and go forward with the best of intentions. However, when we start to notice things that do not feel right, or actually feel bad, we don’t do anything about it. We say to ourselves things like, “That must just be a one-off…” or “I’m sure that’s not what they are really like…” or “It’s just a bad day…” Then, as time goes on, we notice more and more of what does not serve us and begin to question our decision to be involved with this person, project, or job. Here is where it is most important to trust our “knowing.”

We sense things are not OK, but we usually don’t do anything about it because we have allowed ourselves to tolerate such people and behaviors in the past and just accept that this is how it must be. This is an untruth we have purchased with our nonbelief in the value of who we are and what we have to offer. We stay in these situations for a myriad of reasons: we need the money; we don’t trust our sense and think we must not be correct. We continue to be miserable until the Universe finally says, “Enough… if you’re not going to take care of this, we will.” However, by the time it gets to that point, it has gotten so bad it usually does not end well.

We don’t trust our intuition, our gut, that something is amiss. This is a basic, built-in prevalence in humans since the beginning of human life. It is as built into our DNA as fight-or-flight. It is part of our body’s protection for ourselves; what we can utilize to make our lives much more fulfilling, efficient, and successful. However, sadly, many of us have not learned to utilize and trust this most important gift.

For me, it is only recently that I have found the courage to really trust this sense and, more importantly, take action to keep myself in a joyful, happy state.

When I started studying mindfulness, healing, and self-love, I understood that these three attributes were necessary theories I needed to learn. I did learn them, they felt right, and I knew I needed to be more aware when situations occurred that were not a fit for me. However, when it came to DOING something about it, that was where the practice was lost. That proverbial drawing a line in the sand to situations, people, and events that did not serve me felt too overwhelming, so I continued to allow it all until it came crashing down, never in a good way.

The first time I tried taking action on my intuition, I was so befuddled. I had never done this before… what do I say? How do I say it? Will they get mad at me? Will they humiliate me for speaking up for myself?

That first time, I attempted it, but because the other person could sense my wobbly powerlessness, it didn’t end with me feeling like I had done the right thing. However, this most recent time, after so much more reflective time and healing of negative beliefs I had about who I am and how I fit into the world and what my value is, I was able to negotiate my self-representation in a mindful, calm, graceful, and professional manner. The result was filled with so many thoughts for me. I won’t say I was shocked, but in my head, I was saying to myself, “Wow, this feels so good and right. No matter what happens I feel good because this is the truth, and truth always wins.” I was able to move from the sense of it not being right for me to knowing it was not right for me.

Once you KNOW, you cannot just tolerate anymore. Once you KNOW, you must take action. Just as when you see the dark clouds in the sky and feel the wind blowing, you must take action to protect yourself from the oncoming storm. You KNOW what is about to happen, and you move to do the best thing for your safety and comfort. If you do not take action, you understand it becomes your choice.

Because I had healed my beliefs, I was able to present with calm confidence. This type of energy keeps all involved calm and allows all to listen without the distraction of emotion in the voice. My explanation was logical, nonemotional, and sensible, and therefore hit its mark. In a previous life, I would have been shaking about what they would be thinking. This time, however, I felt confident in my value and no matter what happened, it would all be good for me. To my surprise, they were professionally responsive to my account and asked for time to consider what I had said and rediscuss. I was preparing myself to leave within minutes of our conversation, so I was pleasantly surprised at the response, but I shouldn’t have been at all. I took care of myself, trusted my “knowing” that this was not going to be a good place for ME, took action that felt good, and was responded to in a positive manner.

The difference between this and either staying silent or being resistant and causing more problems by adding emotions into the mix was astonishing to this victim in recovery. Trusting what we know is right for us and then taking action confirms our inner knowing and serves our evolution as a mindful being in a very powerful, memorable way.

Mindfulness is not just about recognizing what is happening around us and how we relate to it. It is also the creation and building of new self-care skills that we did not have before, and the demonstration of this new realization that we are originally born as very loving beings. That is who we came here as. When we learn and put into practice the true gift of mindfulness in our everyday lives, we can take loving action to embrace the long-lost knowing of self-love.

Patricia Heitz is a published author, teacher of mindfulness, Reiki master, Thrive mentor, and empowerment coach. Her book, Daydreams Come True, is a workbook helping you discover your beliefs and how to transform them from self-sabotaging to supporting what you want to have/be in your life. She has spent the last 20 years studying the mind–body connection, its relationship to disease, and how/why we sabotage.

After surviving kidney cancer, in 2002, she was determined to learn everything about how we contribute to disease in our body. What she discovered: it is always about our beliefs.
Having discovered her own self-sabotaging beliefs, and healing them, she has learned how to overcome, transform, and forgive.

She now lives a dream-come-true life and is dedicated to sharing her lessons learned so others may find their healing and wellness to live a life of thriving!


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